Mother has only "EN" to Bare her Child

In Japan, marriages have often been arranged by parents through a "go-between." This is especially true for one who cannot find his or her spouse by themselves. At first, a "go-between" takes a portrait of the man to the woman and the woman to the man. When a prospective match has been recommended, both parties meet each other for the first time formally to find out whether they get along or not. This is called "miai."

One day, a marriageable man wanted to marry. So a "go-between" took his pictures to several ladies. These ladies all refused the first meeting with him after seeing his photograph.

At last, without showing a picture of him, one "miai" was arranged.

He was very excited to have the first meeting with the woman. However, when she saw the man's face, she immediately refused to meet him again.

The young man was so upset, he hit his mother in her face, and shouted, "How did you bear me with such and ugly face?" The mother was speechless. She had no way to explain the reason this lovely son was born with a big scar on his face. Seeking a solution, she came to a Nichiren temple. The priest of the temple told her to bring her son the next day.

The following day, as soon as the young man bowed to the priest, the minister slapped the man's face with his hand and said, "You hit your mother like this, didn't you? I heard you blamed your mother that you were born with an ugly face. Who in the world would believe that a mother would wish for a child with an ugly face? The mothers are not the creators of the children. Your mother was just given an opportunity to bear you. It is called "En." Your ugly face was not caused by her, but your karma from your previous lives caused your ugly face. You must repent your bad karma and appreciate your mother who gave you birth. You should put your hands together in Gassho and respect your mother and others."

The son apologized to his mother right away. He changed his attitude toward his family and others. Years later, he was able to marry.

We should never think that our mothers made our faces and features. We are responsible for our faces and features. Each individual's unique past partially determines his or her face and features to form his or her destiny.

October 16, 1986