Many years ago, I was invited to give a lecture to a class studying world religions at a high school. After the discussion, a student told me, "Many Christians think that Buddhism is superstitious." She then asked me, "What do you, Buddhists, think about Christianity?"
Buddhism is not superstitious. It is a religion of seeking truth and becoming free from all troubles, sufferings, and unhappiness. But, frankly speaking, I had once thought that Buddhism was superstitious, too. Being a son of a Buddhist priest, I had been told, "You shall be a priest, and you shall take over my place when you grow up." At first, I agreed with my father's command. But as a teenager, I began to have doubts about Buddhism. I thought that my father's actions as a Buddhist priest of offering water, rice, and fruits at the altar were meaningless and superstitious. I felt that Buddhism was too hard to understand and was meant for the aged and the dead.
While I was a freshman in college, I also attended a Bible class spoken in English at a Baptist church in Tokyo. It was the cheapest way for me to learn English. Compared to Buddhism, Christianity was easier for me to understand even though it was in English. I kept going to the Bible class for almost two years. I became attracted to the religion and was almost ready to become a Christian.
However, one day I listened to an evangelist's criticism of Buddhism. His criticism was without knowledge or understanding of Buddhism. I did not like his criticism. Since then I never returned to the Christian church. At least my understanding of Buddhism was better than his at that moment.
After that, I really began to study Buddhism. As I studied it more, I learned that Buddhism is not filled with superstitious beliefs. Some Christians may think so, but it is like the blind man who touches an elephant's leg and proclaims it as a tree trunk.
Buddhism is not hard if you try to understand it. It is not difficult at all, if you are interested in it. You can say that about any subject or any sport. Even if it is hard, if you have a certain goal like an Olympic gold medal, you will strive toward it. In the same way, if you are interested in Buddhism you will work very hard to understand it.
What is a goal of Buddhism, then? It is to attain peace of mind, peace on earth, and happiness for everyone. In order to attain peace and happiness, praying is not enough. You must realize the truth, and you must act under that truth.
What is truth in Buddhism? It is the seal of the three laws which distinguishes Buddhism from other religions. The Three laws are as follows:

1. everything is impermanent;
2. everything depends on others; and
3. Nirvana is like a state of stillness or quietness.

A memorial service is a good time for us to learn about the laws. First of all, we can learn about the law that everything is impermanent. We know that we will die sooner or later. A memorial service is for those who have passed away. All living beings will die. All physical things will be discarded sooner or later. Everything exists while it is changing. At the moment of one's birth, the process of growing starts. When one reaches full growth, one will progress to old age, and eventually death will come. At the memorial service, we must realize that our ancestors are dead, and we will join them, too, later.
A memorial service is also a good time for us to learn about the law that everything depends on others. The memorial service remind us that we had deceased parents, grandparents, and ancestors. Do you know how many blood related ancestors you have in ten generations? You have two parents, four grandparents, eight great grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents. 16 X 2 = 32, 32 x 2 = 64. For each generation, you multiply by 2. It becomes 128, 256, 512, 1,024. In ten generations, you have 1,024 great-great, great (ten times)----grandparents. When you add all ten generations, you have over 2,000 ancestors.
If one of them was missing, you would not be here today. Everything from your head to your toes came from them, so we must appreciate our ancestors. Finally, a memorial service is a good time for us to learn about the law that Nirvana is a state of stillness. This is like the stillness that has come back after a fire has gone out after all the fuel has been used up. We need this quiet moment at the memorial service. Nirvana is the calmness after the stopping of the cycle of birth and death. If there is no birth, there is no growth, disease, nor death.
When we have a memorial service, we decorate the altar with beautiful flowers, offer rice, tea, fruits, and manju. A memorial service is like a birthday party. We often celebrate one's birthday with cake, goodies and sometimes dinner. Of course, the dead never eat rice, fruits, and manju. But they "eat" the smell; therefore, we must offer fresh food, and fresh and beautiful flowers. We have a physical body, so we need to eat physical food, but on the other hand, spiritual beings do not, so they "eat" the physical smell.
One's memorial day is the date of death; however, when we look at it from the spiritual realm, it is a birthday to be born in the spiritual realm. You would not be very happy if your parents or your spouse forgets your birthday. It is the same with a dead ancestor. Thus, we Buddhists hold memorial services again and again.
Summarizing what I said, Buddhism is the teachings to understand the Buddha's doctrine. He taught us the universal truth such as Everything relies on others, Everything is constantly changing, and Stillness will come when we realize the laws and act according to the laws.
A memorial service is a good time to realize Buddha's teachings and practice them. Let us appreciate our ancestors because without them we would never be here.

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo - Namu Myoho Renge Kyo

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo

With Gassho,